Someone please validate me...because no one seems to agree
- Al: Dear women (especially black women), Why is it that every woman you have a disagreement with, happens to be jealous apparently?
- Martin: *likes Al's status.*
- Mike: U just jealous!
- Al: *likes Mike's comment*
- Ian: *likes Mike's comment*
- Me: K thanks for making a sweeping generalization of my sex and your race
- Sarah: *likes my comment*
- Mike: I can do that too! All women are female. :o
- Al: Anytime. You know why stereotypes suck, because they are usually true. Resolve to be different, but don't be surprised when stuff like this is said since the people who say this are just pulling it from things that they've experience. So it's understandable and you can't blame them. Like how black people make up most of the inmates in America's prison system. It may sound racist, but it's true, so I have to put up with it. It's dangerous to define yourself by things you can't change.
- Dan: *likes Al's comment.*
- Christina: *likes Al's comment.*
- Me: I've heard the stereotypes. I am just surprised I am hearing them from a friend - someone who, I thought, knew better.
- Mike: I hate how people get offended over stereo types, cause if they are wrong why validate it by getting mad? Stereotyping stereotypes as all being wrong is wrong.
- Dan: *likes Mike's comment.*
- Al: I do know better and I accept that there are exceptions, but yes, I was making a generalization.
- Dan: *likes Al's comment.*
- Mike: All programmers are socially awkward and pale no one gets mad over that
- Me: How am I validating this? Am I displaying jealousy? Am I assuming someone is jealous of me? By saying "Dear Women," Albert has addressed me directly. Can I not respond? I understand that stereotypes make people easier to categorize. Stereotypes exist because there is usually a grain of truth to them. The problem is that each and every person is different - different background, different outlook on life, different reasons for actions...so generalizations aren't often practical and usually address only the *results* of an issue, not the *cause* of it. For example: Albert says that black people make up most of the inmates in the prison system. This may or may not be true, but couldn't this be the result of low economic status, stemming from racism that has roots in history? All programmers are socially awkward and pale? Do they program because they are socially awkward and pale, or are they socially awkward and pale because they program? Computers are usually indoors, which might explain the paleness...do programmers seek out computers because they cannot communicate with others well, or do they lack social skills because they spend so much time with computers? Wow...I didn't mean for this to get so long. I just think that generalizing is to take the easy way out, instead of trying to think about WHY. Also, I'm not mad. I just feel the need to stick up for the ladies, because I've been seeing a lot of negative comments toward us lately. I can take the occasional "get-in-the-kitchen-and-make-me-a-sammich" joke, but there comes a point where I have to wonder why people find it funny.
- Mike: why do people find it funny? because you react so vigorously :P
- Dan: *likes Al's comment.*
- Al: Ok, I think when Mike said "validate," he was just commenting about how words how words get most of they power from their receiver and by being offended, you are acknowledging it and giving it power. Anyway, I was not trying to use stereotypes to explain anything. I acknowledge that all people are different. I also acknowledge that people follow trends of characteristics (and stupidity). The observation of those trends creates stereotypes and as a native category, I would argue that no one puts any stock in stereotypes. Of course, that's another generalization. And yes, generalizations are easy as opposed to naming every exception out there, if that were possible and so facebook makes the perfect arena for there use...and twitter I guess.Anyway, the reason I said this is because lately, I've observed on T.V. that usually when two women get into a fight, they accuse each other of being jealous. I haven't observed this personally, nor do I claim that this is true or valid. Based on my observations, I am asking a non-serious question.
- Me: Then say, "Dear women on TV." You must realize, then, that the women you see on television are not real. Even 'reality' TV does not portray things realistically: people are chosen and their actions are filtered and edited in order to create a character. These representations of women do not show us what women are. They show us what society thinks women are. And it's the same for every community: man, woman, homosexual, black, asian, middle eastern, christian, atheist. You're a smart guy, so I'm sure you knew all that already. But you worded your status in a way that puts down others and perpetuates something that I think is untrue. I've noticed that no one is on my side here, so I'm gonna shut up. But if I made one person take a second thought...well, I count that a success.
I feel so unbelievably angry and alone right now, and I don’t even know why.
What’s wrong with me?
